HAJI’S HEADGEAR “Home of the Ten‑Gallon Turban”

ANNOUNCER (dusty AM‑radio swagger):
Tonight’s broadcast is brought to you by Haji’s Headgear —
home of the legendary, the colossal, the horizon‑blocking
TEN‑GALLON TURBAN.

These beauties come pre‑wrapped, shellacked, and ready to wear,
engineered for weddings, ferry rides, barn dances,
and any situation where you need to look like
the undisputed boss of the block.

Every colour imaginable —
from midnight maroon to mango sunrise —
and yes, even the tie‑dye rainbow edition,
for when you want to look like a psychedelic Sikh cowboy
riding a comet through Chandy Choke.

ANNOUNCER (leaning in):
Be everybody’s boss with Haji’s Ten‑Gallon Turban —
the biggest around, the boldest in town,
and available exclusively at Chandy Choke
and wherever fine headgear is found.

And remember —
every purchase comes with a free paring knife,
a personal gift from Haji himself,
in appreciation of your support.

TAGLINE (chorus of happy Chandy Choke folk):
“Haji’s Headgear —
Wrap your head in glory.”

Bollywood, Metal, Funk, Drum and Bass, Choir, Violin, Sitar, Tabla, Congas, Bongos, Harp, Bagpipes, Didgeridoo, Pungi, Vibraphone, Ocarina, Chanting, Spoken Word, Groovy, Very Slow (<66 BPM), Synth