Sponsor - “THE CIRCUS OF THE ORDINARY” rock version

SFX: Calliope wheezes to life… but slightly out of tune. Footsteps on gravel. A gull cackles.

ANNOUNCER (breathless, delighted, slightly unhinged):
Ladies and gentlemen… citizens, tourists, pilgrims of the peculiar…
Next week, rolling down the ferry dock and straight into your subconscious…
comes the CIRCUS OF THE ORDINARY!

SFX: Parade drums. A tiny trumpet. A giant tuba. Both badly mismatched.

ANNOUNCER:
Marvel at The World’s Tallest Midgets…
Gasp at The World’s Smallest Giants…
Behold The Bearded Robots, freshly oiled and emotionally unavailable…
And don’t miss The Charlie Chaplin Bird — with his cane, his derby hat,
and his legally questionable waddle.

SFX: A weak grunt. A barbell clatters.

ANNOUNCER:
Cheer — or pity — HISCULES, the world’s weakest strongman.
And then…
a VOICE rings out from the stables:
“It is backwards in its stall!”
Yes — the legendary Horse With Its Tail Where Its Head Should Be.

ANNOUNCER (grand, booming):
Come be amazed… astounded… baffled… and gently dismayed
at THE CIRCUS OF THE ORDINARY —
only on Settler City Island.

🎵 JINGLE (10 seconds)
(Upbeat, jangly calliope with a noir‑twist bassline)

🎵
“Step right up, don’t delay,
See the strange the usual way!
Laugh, be scared, you’ll feel extraordinary…
At the CIRCUS… of the OR‑DI‑NA‑RY!”
🎵

Carnival music, Procession, Tuba. Snare Drums, Didgeridoo, Ocarina, Theremin, Drum and Bass, Funk, Metal, Groovy, Driving, Trombone, Violin, Xylophone, Rhythm Guitar, Singing-Rapping (Melodic Rap)