Fourteen

“FOURTEEN”

Verse 1

Fourteen in a field, you kissed me first,
Now I think that might’ve been the worst thing that ever worked.
Everybody hated us,
We treated that shit like a compliment.

Sneaking out at half past midnight,
You’d throw pebbles at my window.
We were kids playing Bonnie and Clyde,
Just a lot less pretty though.

Ran from the police together,
Stole bikes just to get away.
You made reckless look romantic,
Now I’m paying for it every day.

Pre-Chorus

Cause nobody tells you
Your first love can become your life sentence.

Chorus

You fucked me up for everybody after,
Now every guy’s just a chapter.
They’re nice to me and that’s the problem—
You taught me love was a disaster.

And I hate every girl around you,
Hate that I still care about who
Gets your attention,
Gets your time,
Gets the version of you that was never mine.

And I know I should let go.

Trust me.

I’ve fucking tried.

Verse 2

Ten years of breaking up and making up,
You disappear and then appear.
One text from you and suddenly
I’ve lost another fucking year.

Everybody thinks I’m stupid,
Maybe they’re right, I don’t know.
But they didn’t watch me build my whole identity
Around not letting you go.

You could ruin my entire week
With one cold message and a full stop.
And that’s embarrassing to admit,
But I’m tired of pretending it’s not.

Pre-Chorus

And what pisses me off the most
Is you’ll never understand the damage.

Chorus

You fucked me up for everybody after,
Turned every red flag into a factor.
Now I can’t tell the difference
Between being loved and being captured.

And I hate every girl around you,
Wonder if they know what I know.
Wonder if they cry in their bedrooms too,
Or if somehow you finally learned to grow.

Cause if you did—

Then why the hell
Couldn’t you do that for me?

Bridge

I should hate you.

For every lie.
For every bruise.
For every time you made me feel
Like I was impossible to choose.

I should block your number.
Delete your name.
Stop letting you set fire
To every good thing in my brain.

But you’re still the boy from the field.

And that’s the part
That fucking kills me.

Final Chorus

Cause you fucked me up for everybody after,
And somehow I still want your laughter.
Still want the calls,
Still want the highs,
Still want the version of us that never died.

And maybe that’s pathetic.
Maybe I need therapy.
Maybe loving you for ten years
Did something permanent to me.

But if I’m being honest—

I don’t miss who you are now.

I miss the boy in the field
Before he broke me.

Pop, Aggressive, Sad, Sentimental, Romantic, Tense, Angry