Fragile

Hi,

I truly loved you, I invisioned a future with you. So many of my walls went down for you, I was willing to hug you after every hurdle and layer you had crossed. The process was not easy for me.

I had seen you before we met, years before. I had no clue of your existence and if you were real. But every turned page made it go closer to our chapter. All I ever wanted is someone I can grow together with. Not only with old age - in personal growth. I felt like no day would be boring with you. Everyday there would be sassiness and love. Everyday I would want to be hugged you and kiss you despite the difficulties we were facing.

Obviously I had many things going on, I also believe you were far from perfect. So we have ended on a blank page with one singular dot at the bottom. So much was said yet nothing was expressed, still final. I have felt so much pain being with you, I also felt so much joy being with you.


I do have regrets of letting you in and trusting you, simultanously I have seen a side of me surface by your actions. My affectionate side, the passion, the cute baby maybe. Not one of my proudest moments but those are still, special. I thought we could see eye to eye, more and more do I realize that maybe God intended it this way. Maybe He saw we were destructive towards us and ourselves.

Maybe my love will come back to you, not sure if I want to. Right now, I am still healing of all the damage you caused. To be honest, I don't care with who you end with, I know your mind was cheating while we were locked. That didn't bother me - you being superficial did.

You were my Nineveh, I guess I was never meant to stay. I tried to be humble with you, forgiving, caring, anything that would make me a better person and girlfriend. anything that would make me a biblical wife a woman of God...


I don't regret anything I have done nor my decision to get back together and to break it off. I followed the Lord and its commands. I forgave you unconditionally, gave you grace and all the love I had. I was willing to die for you and to live for you. To stay by your side through thick and thin. That was an option...

Jesus showed us how to serve and to sacrifice for the people you love.
That love is my compass and I will never lower it.
That is my non-negotiable.
That is what I want and need.

You see, I think deep down... my heart will keep loving you

What kind of love? I am not sure.

Maybe I am yearning for more crumbs
Maybe I hear your heart's call
Definetely you have brought me trouble

I loved you a lot Kasper, I was ready to take your name. Change my identity for you, by becoming part of you. I was willing to. I was capable of changing my birth name, isn't that crazy? For a woman like me?. I miss you, not only the moments. I miss you as who you were, your stupid jokes, lack of planning, blind ambition, your artistic side, sponaneity. I miss you as person, maybe as a friend. Maybe more. I am not

Anything that fits the text