HANDS OFF MY DAVE” (Corrected Classified Punk Edition)

[Intro – shouted over feedback]

ONE—TWO—THREE—FOUR!

⸻

🎸 [Verse 1]

Black fur flying down the hall
Knocking cups and wrecking all
Three A.M. and here he comes
Tiny paws like kettle drums

Paper bag stuck on his head
Didn’t care—just went to bed
Acts like he owns every room
Tiny king of household doom

⸻

🔊 [Chorus]

🎵
HANDS OFF MY DAVE!
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
That’s what Hannah always says!

HANDS OFF MY DAVE!
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
He’ll judge your soul and wreck your day!

DAVE! DAVE! DAVE!
King of fluff and household crime!
DAVE! DAVE! DAVE!
Angry at the world full-time!
🎵

⸻

⚡ [Verse 2]

Now he’s sitting in his place
With that calm suspicious face
Don’t ask questions—leave it there
Tiny ruler of the chair

Pushes stuff right off the shelf
Mostly just to amuse himself
Stares at walls and fights the air
Runs upstairs like no one’s there

⸻

🥁 [Breakdown – shouted]

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAVE!
AT ALL TIMES!

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAVE!
AT ALL TIMES!

⸻

🎸 [Verse 3]

Living like a tiny lord
Every meal should be a reward
Cardboard boxes, rugs, and stairs
Black fur floating everywhere

He’s not evil—just intense
Operates beyond all sense
Mysterious and full of rage
Tiny panther in a cage

⸻

🔊 [Final Chorus – louder/faster]

🎵
HANDS OFF MY DAVE!
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Household goblin wrapped in fur!

HANDS OFF MY DAVE!
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Nobody knows what he just heard!

DAVE! DAVE! DAVE!
Sleeping twenty hours a day!
DAVE! DAVE! DAVE!
Still exhausted anyway!
🎵

⸻

⚡ [Outro – collapsing instruments]

🎵
Daaaaaaave!
🎵

CRASH

“DAVE!”

tiny offended meow

Energetic punk rock, Aggressive, Energetic, Female Vocals