Brother In My Head

**[Intro]**
Yeah
Two years on and it still feels raw
Thought you were my blood, now I’m bleeding on the floor

**[Verse 1]**
Met you at the crib, you were calling me “lil bro”
Twenty with a smile, I was only thirteen though
Dad said, “He’s family, let him crash in your room”
Didn’t know that trust was gonna turn into a tomb
Cuddles in the dark, I was thinking it was love
Didn’t know the difference, I was just a broken kid, bruh
Every time you touched me, brain screaming that it’s wrong
But your voice in my ear kept turning no into a song

First hit of THC, smoke filling up my lungs
You passed it with a grin, said, “This is how we stay young”
High while you were touching me, I disappeared inside
Didn’t have the words yet just to call it what it was: a crime
Two, three months of silence, thinking this is what I’m worth
Thought your hands were heaven, didn’t see they were the dirt
You were twenty, I was drowning, stuck at thirteen in a cage
Now I’m fifteen almost sixteen, still living in that page

**[Pre-Chorus]**
And I hate that I still miss you like a brother
Hate that trauma got me tangled in the covers
Got a secret that destroyed your whole life
Now I’m haunted every time I close my eyes

**[Chorus]**
I still see you once a week in my mind like a rerun
Flashbacks hit, I’m back in that room, can’t outrun
I told the truth, now your future’s in the ditch
Why do I feel like I’m the one that’s just a snitch?
I’m covered up in scars, every line another scream
Quit the blade, but the urge still cuts me deep behind the scenes
Turned my pain into smoke, into bottles, into sins
Miss the monster and the friend you’ve always been

**[Verse 2]**
Two years later, yeah, I’m counting every mark
Every line on my skin is a piece of that dark
Blades on my body, head to toe, I drew the pain
Carved out all the things I couldn’t say, couldn’t name
Quit the self-harm, but the itch is in my veins
Like a ghost with a razor, it’s whispering my name
I’m staring at the mirror, see a war behind my face
Battlefield skin, but I’m tryna keep the pace

Still craving THC, every time my chest tight
Still craving alcohol when I can’t sleep at night
Cuz I learned how to cope from the man who broke me
Every comfort that I know is the thing that choked me
Dad found out, rage poured out of his eyes
Threatened your life, ready to make you realize
You weren’t my brother, you were just a loaded gun
He wanted to protect me, but the damage had been done

**[Pre-Chorus]**
And I hate that I still miss you like a brother
Hate that part of me is searching for another
Body froze while the world screamed “Speak”
Now the truth feels dirty every time I try to breathe

**[Chorus]**
I still see you once a week in my mind like a rerun
Flashbacks hit, I’m back in that room, can’t outrun
I told the truth, now your future’s in the ditch

Pop, Dark, Sad, Aggressive, Tense, Gloomy