Mimm

🎤 EVLYN AKA KASONGO 2.0 (The One-Time Quitter Anthem)

(Funny rap beat starts)

Yo, yo, yo…
This one’s for Evlyn, AKA Kasongo,
The only person who gets tired from THINKING about cardio. 😭

Verse 1

Evlyn from Kenya, she’s funny no doubt,
But mention exercise and she’s already checked out. 🏃‍♀️❌

She says, “Tomorrow I’ll start, surely this time,”
Then tomorrow arrives and she’s changing her mind. 😂

Tanzanite Bridge is her favorite place,
Not because she’s there, just in her brain space.

She talks about walking, she’s got a whole plan,
But the furthest she walks is reaching for a pan. 🍗

Chorus

Evlyn! Kasongo!
Chicken and chips wherever she go. 🍟🍗

“Surely, surely,” that’s her line,
She’s been starting that walk since 2009. 😭

Evlyn! Kasongo!
Queen of quitting after one go.

One-time quitter, everybody knows,
She quits so fast she’s already home. 😂

Verse 2

Signed up for a challenge? She’ll give it a try,
Five minutes later: “Nah, goodbye.”

Started a workout? That’s pretty rare,
One jumping jack and she’s needing a chair. 💀

She loves Tanzanite Bridge, that’s what she claims,
But seeing it on Google Maps is basically the same.

She says, “Today I’ll walk the whole thing through!”
Then remembers chicken and chips exist too. 🍟

Bridge

Speaks Kikuyu, straight from Kenya,
Makes us laugh more than any comedian.

But if determination was a race she’d run,
She’d quit halfway and call it fun. 😂

Final Chorus

Evlyn! Kasongo!
Funniest person that we know.

Chicken and chips are her true best friend,
The exercise journey may never begin. 😭

“Surely I’ll start next week,” she says,
We’ve been hearing that for days and days.

One-time quitter, legend,

Outro

Tanzanite Bridge: ❌
Chicken and Chips: ✅

Exercise: ❌
“Surely”: ✅

Walking in real life: ❌
Walking in her imagination: ✅😭🎤🍟🔥

Funk, Drum and Bass, Classic Rock, Gospel, Aggressive, Energetic, Epic, Dark, Chill, Happy, Heroic, Singing-Rapping (Melodic Rap), Male Vocals, Rap Vocals