Wrong Kind of Pump

[Verse 1]
Kids
Gather ‘round
Dad’s got a tale
About your bright future
And my spectacular fail
I had a plan
A spreadsheet
A dream
Then I met a shiny gadget
On a late-night stream

[Chorus]
I blew your college on the wrong kind of pump
Thought I’d be a hero
Ended up a chump
You were headed to the campus
Tassels in the sun
Now it’s YouTube
Ramen
And community fun
I blew your college on the wrong kind of pump
And all I got was this backyard slump

[Verse 2]
I pictured you
In lecture halls
But I clicked “add to cart”
Like I click Dad jokes in calls
It buzzed and it whirred
Looked cool on the stand
The only thing it really lifted
Was the cash from my hand

[Chorus]
I blew your college on the wrong kind of pump
Thought I’d be a hero
Ended up a chump
You were headed to the campus
Tassels in the sun
Now it’s YouTube
Ramen
And community fun
I blew your college on the wrong kind of pump
And all I got was this backyard slump

[Bridge]
Hey
You’ll still do great
You’re sharper than me
Might take the long road
But the view is free
And if you ever wonder
Why the savings hit a bump
Just remember your old man
And that cursed little pump (oh no)

[Chorus]
I blew your college on the wrong kind of pump
Thought I’d be a hero
Ended up a chump
You were headed to the campus
Tassels in the sun
Now it’s night shifts
Day dreams
And getting it done
I blew your college on the wrong kind of pump
But I’m here in the front row
When your life lights up (hey!)